Of All Things

My sister, Veronica, is getting married(dietcokeparty4.blogspot.com) and I have to cope with the undue stress that involves planning and carrying out a wedding. It can only be assumed that as the summer wears on and August 23rd draws nearer that my mother will no doubt be consumed with all things wedding(this being her first). The stress scale is a numerical one ranging from zero to one hundred, zero being the lowest amount of stress and one hundred the highest. For events like a family gathering the stress level leading up to that point would be around 53 or higher depending on the size of the event. Times temper has been lost, number of sighs in one hour, hours stayed up passed ten getting things ready, parts of house that is cleaned no matter how unnecessary(mailboxes anyone?), and the state of ones hair at the end of it all are all part of deciding the stress level of ones Argentine mother.
My prediction is that the stress level this summer will reach a peak of an unprecedented 120. I can already tell of the early stages of worry held in my mother's mind as she readies herself for one of her most extensive projects yet. (Yes, more extensive than the Leftover Casserole project.) I guess that it is a good thing that I will be gone most of the summer and avoid the worst of the stress but it will still be a challenge since I will have my own stress to think about.
Having your sister get married is in no way stress free. What that stress may be I have no idea but there will probably be some.

World Record(possibly)

Last summer I feel that I set a world record that few would ever dare challenge. I was on a backpacking trip in Yosemite Valley where they have very strict rules concerning litter and garbage. These rules include requiring all backpackers to carry out their own trash, including used toilet paper. Aparantly I was the only one in my group who found this completely revolting and unnecissary. On previous trips it had been customary to burry the toilet paper with the rest of the what-nots in a hole in he ground. This doesn't fly in Yosemite since rain washes out the toilet paper and the bears feast on it making them sick, so I guess they'd rather us get some poop related disease than the bears. When I found this out I decided that I was not going to do this one way or another. The leaders would be strictly following this rule since they did not want to get stuck with the ridiculous fine that comes with violation of the toilet paper rule. This meant that I could not just bury it anyway since they would get suspicious if I came back to camp without my feciated paper.
I then came up with an ingeneous plan. I would simply not go number two. There was no way I would ever carry my own schmere on my back. The trip was going to be a week long, Monday to Saturday, six days in total. I had never attempted this before and was worried that I would not be able to make it. Attempting this is risky, all dorts of things could go wrong, but then I thought of my waste bag accidentally opening in my backpack creating a catastrophe of Hindenburg porportions.
It was easier to accomplish than I imagined. I never had to 'hold' it in. I never even had the sensation of having to go poopie. This was partly due to the fact that my tentmate and I did not bring enough food to feed ourselves leaving us hungry near the end of the adventure.
I am quite proud of my accomplishment nd This summer I am going on a Two-week trip where I may try to break my record but after learning of the procedures used to unclog a backed-up human it is probably not going to happen.

P.S. When I got home fromthe trip and finally did relieve myself, I lost a whole three pounds and clogged the toilet. Without toilet paper.