World Record(possibly)

Last summer I feel that I set a world record that few would ever dare challenge. I was on a backpacking trip in Yosemite Valley where they have very strict rules concerning litter and garbage. These rules include requiring all backpackers to carry out their own trash, including used toilet paper. Aparantly I was the only one in my group who found this completely revolting and unnecissary. On previous trips it had been customary to burry the toilet paper with the rest of the what-nots in a hole in he ground. This doesn't fly in Yosemite since rain washes out the toilet paper and the bears feast on it making them sick, so I guess they'd rather us get some poop related disease than the bears. When I found this out I decided that I was not going to do this one way or another. The leaders would be strictly following this rule since they did not want to get stuck with the ridiculous fine that comes with violation of the toilet paper rule. This meant that I could not just bury it anyway since they would get suspicious if I came back to camp without my feciated paper.
I then came up with an ingeneous plan. I would simply not go number two. There was no way I would ever carry my own schmere on my back. The trip was going to be a week long, Monday to Saturday, six days in total. I had never attempted this before and was worried that I would not be able to make it. Attempting this is risky, all dorts of things could go wrong, but then I thought of my waste bag accidentally opening in my backpack creating a catastrophe of Hindenburg porportions.
It was easier to accomplish than I imagined. I never had to 'hold' it in. I never even had the sensation of having to go poopie. This was partly due to the fact that my tentmate and I did not bring enough food to feed ourselves leaving us hungry near the end of the adventure.
I am quite proud of my accomplishment nd This summer I am going on a Two-week trip where I may try to break my record but after learning of the procedures used to unclog a backed-up human it is probably not going to happen.

P.S. When I got home fromthe trip and finally did relieve myself, I lost a whole three pounds and clogged the toilet. Without toilet paper.